Grief is one of life’s most complex emotions, and it often shows up when we least expect it. Whether you’ve lost a loved one, experienced a breakup, or faced any life-changing event, grief can feel overwhelming. While you’ve probably heard the basics—allow yourself to feel, lean on loved ones, and give it time—there’s so much more to handling grief than just getting through the day.
1. Acknowledge Your Grief Without Judgment
The first step might seem simple, but it’s often the hardest. Acknowledge that you’re grieving. Don’t brush it under the rug or compare your feelings to someone else’s. Grief is unique for everyone, and your way of handling it is valid. Be kind to yourself as you go through it. Some days will be easier than others, and that’s okay.
When you recognize your pain, it’s a sign you’re human, not weak. Feelings of guilt, anger, or regret are all part of this emotional cocktail. Instead of telling yourself you "shouldn’t" feel a certain way, try to accept it as part of your process.
2. Allow Yourself to Feel Everything
There’s no "right" way to grieve, and that’s an important fact. You might feel sad, angry, confused, or even relieved all at once. Sometimes, emotions may not even seem to make sense—and that’s okay. Suppressing these feelings or trying to rush through them can make your grieving process longer and more painful in the long run.
Let yourself cry when you need to, or take a break when things get overwhelming. It’s okay to take things one step at a time. Think of emotions as waves—sometimes they crash down, but they will eventually calm. Trust that your feelings will pass, even if they feel heavy at the moment.
3. Break Your Grief into Small, Manageable Steps
Instead of tackling your grief head-on as one massive burden, break it down into smaller, more manageable steps. For instance, focus on getting through the next few hours or days, rather than trying to imagine how you’ll feel weeks from now.
Breaking grief into smaller steps makes it less overwhelming and easier to handle. You can even jot down small tasks that make you feel more in control, like tidying up a room, taking a walk, or talking to a friend.
4. Engage in Mindfulness Practices
It’s common to feel lost when you’re grieving, as though the world is happening without you. That’s where mindfulness can help. By staying present in the moment, even for just a few minutes, you can begin to reconnect with yourself and your surroundings. It could be as simple as taking a few deep breaths, meditating, or going for a quiet walk.
Mindfulness helps you focus on the now, rather than drowning in the overwhelming "what ifs" or "whys" that often come with loss. With regular practice, you might find that mindfulness not only helps you process your grief but also strengthens your emotional resilience over time. Check out these mindfulness techniques here.
5. Seek Out Support, But on Your Terms
One of the most common pieces of advice when it comes to grief is to lean on your support system. And while this is true, it’s also important to seek help on your own terms. You don’t have to open up to everyone or do it right away. Take your time.
When you’re ready, talking to someone you trust—whether it’s a friend, family member, or therapist—can be a huge relief. Sometimes just expressing your thoughts out loud helps put things into perspective. Remember, it’s perfectly fine to ask for help when you need it. If talking isn’t your thing, you could even write down your feelings in a journal.
6. Create New Rituals for Healing
Rituals can offer structure during a time when everything feels out of control. Whether it's lighting a candle, visiting a meaningful place, or dedicating time to creative outlets like painting or writing, new rituals can help you process your grief. These don’t have to be traditional, but they should be personal. Think about what helps you feel connected, grounded, or brings some peace, and build it into your routine.
Over time, these rituals can become anchors, helping you to move forward with grief instead of getting stuck in it. Need some ideas? Explore different ways to incorporate self-care here.
7. Take Care of Your Physical Health
Grief can take a toll on your body, not just your mind. Often, it’s easy to forget about basic self-care when you’re feeling down. You might not feel like eating, exercising, or even sleeping, but these are the things that can help you rebuild your strength. Start with small, manageable actions, like drinking more water or going for a short walk. Over time, your body will feel the positive impact, and it can even help lift your mood.
Your grief may not disappear overnight, but taking care of yourself physically can help you cope with the emotional weight.
8. Give Yourself Permission to Find Joy Again
Finally, allow yourself to experience happiness, even while you grieve. It’s natural to feel like you should be sad all the time, but joy and sorrow can coexist. Small moments of happiness—whether it’s laughing at a joke, enjoying a good meal, or spending time with a friend—are part of healing. These moments don’t take away from the seriousness of your grief; they are essential for your emotional recovery.
Grief is a complex journey, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to handling it. But by acknowledging your feelings, taking small steps, practicing mindfulness, and reaching out for support, you can navigate the process with strength and compassion for yourself. Healing is not about forgetting—it’s about learning how to carry your loss with grace.
After losing my father, I quit drinking coffee for a year because that was something I loved. But, every month on the date of his passing, I would go out alone, drink coffee and write him messages. This small ritual helped me feel closer to him, I was scared of letting him go and this really helped. So yes go create your own rituals and feel peace.